Welcome to “Curl Chronicles,” a column where we dig into the complexities of Black hair – the good, the bad, and everything in between. This month, writer Shani Hillian shares her journey of self-discovery through caring for her daughter’s hair.
I remember the first time I got my hair pressed as a 10-year-old girl in the ’90s. Sitting in the salon chair, I endured the heat of the Marcel iron as it transformed my 3C curls into sleek, straight locks. The smell of burnt hair lingered in the air, but the allure of having hair like my idols Aaliyah and Monica was too strong to resist. When the transformation was complete, I couldn’t contain my excitement as I ran my fingers through my newly straightened hair. That moment marked the beginning of my love affair with straightening my curls, and the gradual belief that my natural hair was inferior.
As I transitioned to a predominantly white high school in Voorhees, New Jersey, my negative perceptions of my natural hair only intensified. Surrounded by classmates and celebrities who favored straight hairstyles, I felt pressure to conform to society’s standards of beauty. The lack of representation of curly hair in the media reinforced the idea that my natural curls were not desirable. I found myself either straightening my hair or opting for protective styles, never fully embracing my natural texture. Little did I know, this internalized stigma towards my curls was shaping my self-image.
Back at home, my mother, a working mom, often encouraged braids and protective styles as they were easier for her to manage. While I don’t believe she thought my curls were anything less than beautiful, the lack of knowledge and guidance on how to care for my natural hair left me feeling like it needed to be tamed or hidden. Without the proper education and validation, I struggled to see the beauty in my natural curls.
It wasn’t until I began caring for my daughter’s hair that I embarked on a journey of healing and self-acceptance. Through learning how to care for her coils and kinks, I discovered the beauty in embracing our natural hair textures. As I nurtured her curls, I found myself learning to love and appreciate my own. Caring for her hair became a form of self-care and a pathway to reclaiming my identity.
In unraveling the complexities of Black hair, I’ve come to realize that our hair is more than just a physical attribute – it’s a reflection of our history, culture, and resilience. Embracing our natural hair is an act of self-love and empowerment, a celebration of our roots and heritage. As we continue to navigate the joys and challenges of Black hair, let us remember that our curls are a crown to be worn with pride.
