Rapper, Musician Big Sean Talks Mental Health, New Book

MEN’S HEALTH: You outline your first experience with what resembled a depressive episode in your book. When did you realize this experience was something deeper than a normal slump?

BIG SEAN: I was waiting for a reply from Ye about signing me [to his record label], and I didn’t know what was going on inside—I just knew I didn’t feel good. You always have 20/20 vision in hindsight of what something was, and what you could have done. I was still a teenager, and that was one of my first gut punches. I put all my eggs in one basket so I had to tell myself, “I’m gonna make it work, even if it’s not how I thought.”

Luckily, I had supportive parents and grandparents. My grandma was a female Black captain in World War II. She was a spiritual, religious manifester who always created something out of nothing. My mom is the byproduct, and evolution, of her. They kept saying, “you can manifest this [music career path].”

When I first went through that, I guess you could call it depression or disappointment, I had to realize that just because things aren’t going my way doesn’t mean I can’t choose to be happy. When I started changing how I felt, everything else started changing. My goal was to write this book for people who are in a situation similar to that.

MH: What was the impetus that led you to reach out for help from a therapist?

BS: I think everyone goes through a point of development where they hit a wall, and it’s painful. Something happens around that 29 to 34 range where life changes dramatically. I don’t know if it’s just entering your 30s. You realize that you have to reconnect with yourself differently. You’re not the same person you were in your 20s, and that can be kind of a letdown. It can be scary to reconnect with yourself, because you may not know who you are, and you may look at yourself and say, “I don’t even like you.”

For most people, I think it’s hard to do alone. We don’t live on an island. You’re a part of a community of people on this planet, and you can take advantage of what others have been through and experienced. Some people may be able to offer you some advice, and even if you take it with a grain of salt, sometimes a grain of salt is all the recipe needs. [Working with a therapist] has worked out tremendously for me. I advise everyone to at least try it, if you are able. Not every therapist is the right one for you. Sometimes it’s like finding the right barber—you can’t just expect it to be the perfect haircut off-rip. But you can get something tremendous out of it, [and] it’s different than talking to a family member or a friend. With a therapist, you really can dump it all out and leave it there.

I inspired my dad to go to therapy. He’s 75 years old and from Monroe, Louisiana, so he grew up during the Civil Rights times. He would get his ass beat sometimes just for being on the wrong side of the tracks. He had a stuttering problem, and he realized through therapy that it may have been because of the trauma he had endured. My point is that even if you think you don’t need it, I don’t see how it could hurt.

MH: Something that’s very distinct about your story, and that you’re very upfront about in the book, is your battle with addiction to Adderall. What did your addiction recovery teach you about yourself?

BS: It taught me that everyone is different. [The addiction] was ripping me apart from the inside out. I know people who have to be on it because they are prescribed it—but I had to share my story because I wasn’t prescribed it. I’m thankful I was smart enough to realize I had to stop. When you’re addicted to something, logic doesn’t always play a role. I walked into my studio one day, discovered I didn’t have any [drugs left], and was so mad and felt like I just couldn’t do anything. I was like, “Oh, hell no, I’ve got a problem.”

[After I quit,] it took years for me to be able to have any type of inspiration and happiness. I had to really work on myself.